Anal Sex and everything that comes with it- how to have it done right

Description

lubricant: some women can just move some excess vaginal lubricant down to the anus and it will work fine. But this is not the case for all women. If you aren't particularly juicy , or you're a guy, go to your local sex toy shop and pick up some lubricant. I recommend Astroglide. It's the only brand I've ever used but it works wonders and I have friends who have experimented with other brands and prefer this one. Please follow the astroglide link for more details. Spit can get you started but it doesn't generally last long. K-y is probably the best known lube but it gets sticky too quickly.
a very caring partner, or a vibrator/dildo.

Getting there:
Ok, before you even get to the point of inserting anything sizeable into your anus I recommend moistening your middle finger and lightly running it over your anus while you are masturbating or being sexually stimulated in any other way. It is very important that you don't clench it up. If you do the more sensitive part will get sucked in and it won't feel terribly interesting. This stimulation alone can feel quite good but if it doesn't to you I don't think you're going to enjoy taking it any further. Take your time with the following steps. Some people may get all the way to full anal sex the first time while some may take many times to relax enough.

Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus. This can be difficult the first couple times as you're whole life you've been working on keeping that hole closed. It can also depend on you feeling emotionally relaxed enough to let yourself physically relax that much in the presence of another person. Deep breathing can be very helpful in relaxing the anus. Also, just getting used to being touched there can help you to relax. It should go without saying, that you should not do this if you have to poop , unless, of course, you or your partner are into excrement. Also remember that the anus is not a sanitary environment so nothing you insert should go anywhere near a vagina without being thoroughly cleaned first. It is also very important that your fingernails are short and don't have any sharp edges. This is also a very good rule when inserting them into a vagina as long or sharp nails can create micro-lesions on the vulnerable inside walls which can lead to infection. This is not something you want in either place. Like everything else in life, take a break if it hurts and stop if you see blood.


When you are ready relax your anus and slowly insert your finger; I don't recommend moving up to anything larger yet. Go slow and use a back and forth motion to get it in. A straight push may hurt depending on how much lubricant you have and how relaxed you are. Once it's in there you'll probably be a bit tight. Just leave it there without moving it until you fully relax. The sensation can feel similar to having to poop. In my experience this goes away after the first couple times or possibly after you get to the stage of actually having anal sex. Once you have relaxed enough try moving your finger in and out and wiggling it around inside. You will start to learn what does and does not feel good for you but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

If you press your fingertip into the side near the opening you should be able to feel the two sphincter muscles. They are about a quarter of an inch apart. The outside one is controlled by you. The inside one is controlled by the autonomic part of your nervous system and will react to fear and anxiety. So you really need to be comfortable with your partner and surroundings.

Moving your finger around in there may feel interesting but not be all that you hoped for. Don't worry, the sensations get more interesting when you finally move to something larger. Some people will find this to be more than enough fun and actually more pleasurable than actual anal intercourse. Be careful what you do with that finger when you're done.

When you finally move to something larger you will find that you only want to insert it so far. After that it will start poking into uncomfortable parts. Some angles may also be uncomfortable for you. Be sure to use plenty of lube. You will generally find that , like vaginal sex, you need to start off slowly. If you're moving up to a penis be sure that you have a caring and sensitive partner with you who will pay attention to your needs. Anal sex can be uncomfortable, or even painful, if done without paying attention to what the receiver needs.

"Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex. Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber. " -sexuality.org